but i thought you’d all enjoy the fact that I came home to one of these under my pillow:
Those, my friends, are dried bull penises, otherwise known as “bully sticks“. My pit-boxer-bundle-of-pure-cuteness loves them. He hides them in his bed, usually, and if not there, in the couch and, apparently, under my pillow.
When I first [...]
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Posted in sex advice, stories on April 22, 2007 | 1 Comment »
The MySpace message I sent to a hot girl on December 8, 2005:
Subject: Have I met you before?
Body: if not, I think I would like to.
She responded with “I don’t think so, but maybe soon.” and then, “Um, yeah, can we arrange that somehow? I think I would like to, also.”
And then (this is [...]
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Language Suggestion of the Week: Yeast infections and athlete’s foot are both candida infections which affect different parts of the body. “Yeast infection” sounds nasty and cottage-cheesy. “Athlete’s foot” sounds tough and itchy. I move that we start calling vaginal candida infections “Athlete’s Vagina”. Much better, no? And the commercials [...]
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Posted in stories on April 14, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Dude. I had the best dream last night:
I was in a locker room during Cheerleader Training Camp.
All the girls were in Cheerleader outfits, but most had no underwear on. They were watching an instructional video, and most were doing what the video told them.
I watched as almost all of the girls positioned themselves in [...]
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Significant happenings in the past 24 hours:
The pigeons that have been trying to inhabit the lightwell between our apartment and the next have left us a present that ensures their return: an egg. Bastards had a baby and now we can’t rightfully kick them out because there’s a kid involved and when there’s a [...]
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My tit totally caught me off guard in the shower the other day. I was soapin’ up, and all of a sudden: “oh, well, hello.” Not that I forgot I had boobs, but they get ignored sometimes, regretfully. When I am reminded of their presence (usually around the time of the month [...]
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