headhumper.

“Love, you’re humping my forehead”.
“Yes, I am. Sometimes that needs to happen.”
I was picking up my socks, bending over in a way that placed my head directly in front of her crotch. Apparently head-humping needed to happen. The day moved on…
On my coffee table right now are four porns I’m to review for [...]

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queens and days.

I think I pulled a crotch muscle at work the other day. Yes, a crotch muscle, and yes, at work. I have no idea how I did it, but the damn thing hurts, and all I can do is stare at all the massagers in the store and know I’m not allowed to [...]

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