What I know:
I know that I love sex. I love fucking, thinking about fucking, theorizing about why I love thinking about fucking, imagining why other people don’t think about (or theorize about) fucking as much as I do, and wondering what the world would be like if so many people weren’t ashamed about the fucks they had and the fucks they wanted. Would there be fewer wars if more people were okay with sex? I say yes. Would as many people be depressed and lonely and angry if sex weren’t so complicated and shame-inducing? I say no, no but these things (depression and loneliness and anger) exist with and without anything to do with sex, but sex does affect all of the above (and cause all of the above in some people, not all).
I know that having a partner that enjoys sex as much as you do is crucial. Last night ladyfriend asked me if I felt satisfied, if I felt bored or wandering. And I told her this: If I had any doubts that she would do (or seriously consider doing) whatever I wanted her to, in bed, then I would reconsider the potential length of our relationship. Because right now that potential length is pretty much forever. But if I thought she’d say no when I said, “Hon, I need you to wear a blond wig tonight because I’ve been fantasizing about fucking a blond up the ass and you’ve got to be the blond for me”, if I had any reason to think that she’d have reason to say no, I’d think about who else would say yes.
Because long term relationships take flexibility. They take adaptation. They take blond wigs and sex toys and fingers and lube. Relationships in general require both people meeting at some place where they both want to be. If she asked me to watch her fucking some guy, I would say no, and she knows that I’d say no, because I don’t want to be there. But I know she wouldn’t ask. And she knows that my blond thing doesn’t exist (she already has the dark hair I fantasize about).
What I know I don’t know?
I don’t know what I would do with a partner who didn’t fit me sexually. I am a complicated, highly sexual person. And there aren’t many bodies out there that would fit with mine. But hers does. And I love it.
be good.
jameson.
